10 Reasons Why Men Hate To Commit To Women
(If your man is having a hard time committing to you, he may be doing so as a result of one of these reasons)
Ambassador Utchay
1. He is getting all the benefits of being in a romantic relationship without being engaged to you.
So
if you are giving him all of you without him being fully committed to
you for the long term, you present him with a situation where he sees no
tangible reason to take that next step when he is getting all of you
free of charge.(Men are hunters in nature)
2. He is afraid that what happened to his parents might happen to him so he is being extra cautious. Some men want to be in romantic relationships, but when they remember what happened to their parents -- divorce -- they get cold feet.(Fear of d unknown)
3. They have not finished sowing their wild oats and committing to you one hundred percent will prevent them from getting their groove on.(They don't want to loose their freedom)
4. You are not quite what they have in mind. They are comfortable hanging out with you, but they don't think you are exactly what they are looking for.
It does not mean that you are not good enough for them; it is just that you do not fit the type of woman they are looking for.
5. You do not challenge them enough.
They see you as someone they can pretty much tell anything and get what they want. Men want women they have to work hard to keep.(Hmmmm)
6. You may have some issues with your weight that they may not be very comfortable with. Sure they seem to enjoy your company, but the weight issue may be keeping them from making you the woman of their dreams.
Most men are simply afraid of the fact that their woman may gain the kind of weight that will end up turning them off down the road.(Just be fit)
7. If you have no drive or ambition, some men will not want to commit to you. If they sense that you are not the type that will contribute to the financial well-being of their home, they will not be very motivated to stay with you for the long term.(Be an asset and not a liability)
8. You have a tendency to want to control them. If a man feels that you are the type that will end up wanting to control their life that man will not want to be romantically involved with you for the long term.
He will end up keeping you long enough for him to find a woman that will let him be himself.(The beauty of a woman is in her submission)
9. He may be in the middle of trying to move onto another relationship that he is working on. While he is trying to make sure that the other woman is the one he wants, he will keep you hanging -- he will not commit to you.
10. If a man sees that you are a big flirt, he will not commit to you.
Why? Well, no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who cannot control their flirtatious ways with other men.(Hmmmm)
So you see, men have a ton of reasons why they may not want to commit to women.
So if you are not getting the kind of commitment you want from your man, then you need to either change certain things you are doing, or simply let him know what you want and if he does not act on it, then move on yea it means waka now...
I thought about her pretty purse, beautiful on the outside but hiding an unruly mess on the inside. And then I started thinking about how alike women and purses can be.
Maybe you're like a small purse that only has the capacity to hold a few things. Yet you try stuffing more into your life than you can hold, only to get frustrated. Perhaps one of those things is God: He's been crammed into a tiny space in your world and you don't give Him much room to rule because you feel more comfortable when you are in control.
Perhaps you're like a big purse, carrying all kinds of things. You're involving yourself in so many activities just because you can; with no real purpose to why you're doing it. You end up flustered like the shopper digging for her keys because you haven't spent the time needed to organize your spiritual life.
I know you're not a handbag, but when applying biblical truth and application, what kind of purse are you most like?
It's not God's desire for our inside to be out of sync with our outside. He desires for us to have our hearts turned toward Him and have our very pulse in beat with what He is doing in us.
Where should we start to curb the chaos, release our controlling tendencies and lighten the busyness to fall in step with God?
Start by being still. For some, that will go against every fiber of your being, but try it. Perhaps you abide in chaos because it's masking what is really going on with you, just like your pretty purse hides the unorganized mess within. Sit quietly and pray for God to help you be keenly aware of Him. Nothing that you are going through is a surprise to God.
Next, relax and trust the Lord. Sometimes feeling out of control causes you to hyper-control everything around you. Let go of your fears, doubts and worries and make room for God in your life.
Making a change doesn't come easily, but it can be done. Although seeking out time with God, learning to trust Him, and reorganizing your priorities can feel uncomfortable and difficult at first, I know for sure that it's not nearly as hard as living overcommitted and out of control.
As a citizen of Africa,don’t live as though your nation or continent owe
u something.Rather your mindset should be that you have something the
whole Africa needs.It’s in you,so be concerned with what you can do to
make our continent a better place.
Africa is not indebted to you,but in reality ,it is you that owe Africa,and it is a debt you must pay.If you have the opportunity to go to school,don’t wander about loafing and doing nothing,for we are today’s leaders.Don’t talk bad about Africa,irrespective of the seeming hardship talk good about the continent.Refuse to allow the negative influence of others to cause you to lose hope and confidence in the great future of this great continent.I believe in Africa,I see a new generation of leaders rising and taking up the challenges of selfless service to the continent,a generation so passionate about putting in their best to build a virile,progressive,developed and buoyant continent.The possibility of moving Africa forward in dependent on you.
If there were a time to dare,to make a difference,to embark on something worth doing,it is now.Not even necessarily for any grand cause,but for something that tugs at your heart,something that you have dreamt about.
You owe it yourself to make your days here on earth count.Have fun,dig deep,stretch,dream big,know though,that things worth doing seldom come easy.There will be good days,there will be good times when you want to turn around,pack it up and cal it quits.Those times tell you that you are pushing yourself,that you are not afraid to learn by trying.
Persit,because with an idea,determination and the right tools,you can do great things.Let your instincts,intellect and your heart guide you.Learn to trust.The start of something new brings the hope of something great.Anything is possible.There is only one you,and you will pass this way only once.Do it right.
2. He is afraid that what happened to his parents might happen to him so he is being extra cautious. Some men want to be in romantic relationships, but when they remember what happened to their parents -- divorce -- they get cold feet.(Fear of d unknown)
3. They have not finished sowing their wild oats and committing to you one hundred percent will prevent them from getting their groove on.(They don't want to loose their freedom)
4. You are not quite what they have in mind. They are comfortable hanging out with you, but they don't think you are exactly what they are looking for.
It does not mean that you are not good enough for them; it is just that you do not fit the type of woman they are looking for.
5. You do not challenge them enough.
They see you as someone they can pretty much tell anything and get what they want. Men want women they have to work hard to keep.(Hmmmm)
6. You may have some issues with your weight that they may not be very comfortable with. Sure they seem to enjoy your company, but the weight issue may be keeping them from making you the woman of their dreams.
Most men are simply afraid of the fact that their woman may gain the kind of weight that will end up turning them off down the road.(Just be fit)
7. If you have no drive or ambition, some men will not want to commit to you. If they sense that you are not the type that will contribute to the financial well-being of their home, they will not be very motivated to stay with you for the long term.(Be an asset and not a liability)
8. You have a tendency to want to control them. If a man feels that you are the type that will end up wanting to control their life that man will not want to be romantically involved with you for the long term.
He will end up keeping you long enough for him to find a woman that will let him be himself.(The beauty of a woman is in her submission)
9. He may be in the middle of trying to move onto another relationship that he is working on. While he is trying to make sure that the other woman is the one he wants, he will keep you hanging -- he will not commit to you.
10. If a man sees that you are a big flirt, he will not commit to you.
Why? Well, no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who cannot control their flirtatious ways with other men.(Hmmmm)
So you see, men have a ton of reasons why they may not want to commit to women.
So if you are not getting the kind of commitment you want from your man, then you need to either change certain things you are doing, or simply let him know what you want and if he does not act on it, then move on yea it means waka now...
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Ambassador utchay
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The Power of Love
Love is the best antidepressant—but many of our ideas about it are wrong. The less love you have, the more depressed you are likely to feel.
Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.
There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.
Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.
One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.
It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.
- Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all thehormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
- Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
- Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.
There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.
You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.
- Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
- Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
- Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
- Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.
Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.
The Truth is in the Bag - Chinwe Onyenaucheya
I recently watched as a frazzled shopper fumbled around in her bag trying to find her allusive keys. As she dug through her overstuffed purse, multiple items spilled out, landing on the counter and falling to the floor. Quickly, she began collecting her items.
I thought about her pretty purse, beautiful on the outside but hiding an unruly mess on the inside. And then I started thinking about how alike women and purses can be.
Maybe you're like a small purse that only has the capacity to hold a few things. Yet you try stuffing more into your life than you can hold, only to get frustrated. Perhaps one of those things is God: He's been crammed into a tiny space in your world and you don't give Him much room to rule because you feel more comfortable when you are in control.
Perhaps you're like a big purse, carrying all kinds of things. You're involving yourself in so many activities just because you can; with no real purpose to why you're doing it. You end up flustered like the shopper digging for her keys because you haven't spent the time needed to organize your spiritual life.
I know you're not a handbag, but when applying biblical truth and application, what kind of purse are you most like?
It's not God's desire for our inside to be out of sync with our outside. He desires for us to have our hearts turned toward Him and have our very pulse in beat with what He is doing in us.
Where should we start to curb the chaos, release our controlling tendencies and lighten the busyness to fall in step with God?
Start by being still. For some, that will go against every fiber of your being, but try it. Perhaps you abide in chaos because it's masking what is really going on with you, just like your pretty purse hides the unorganized mess within. Sit quietly and pray for God to help you be keenly aware of Him. Nothing that you are going through is a surprise to God.
Next, relax and trust the Lord. Sometimes feeling out of control causes you to hyper-control everything around you. Let go of your fears, doubts and worries and make room for God in your life.
Finally, clear your calendar. We overbook and over-schedule out of habit and now busy feels normal. Is your fast pace driven by fear, or does it define your value or identity? If so, re-evaluate where your time and energy are being spent and why.
Making a change doesn't come easily, but it can be done. Although seeking out time with God, learning to trust Him, and reorganizing your priorities can feel uncomfortable and difficult at first, I know for sure that it's not nearly as hard as living overcommitted and out of control.
Together, let's commit to cleaning out our "purses!"
Chinwe Onyenaucheya
DREAM BIG,BEAUTIFUL AFRICAN
Africa is not indebted to you,but in reality ,it is you that owe Africa,and it is a debt you must pay.If you have the opportunity to go to school,don’t wander about loafing and doing nothing,for we are today’s leaders.Don’t talk bad about Africa,irrespective of the seeming hardship talk good about the continent.Refuse to allow the negative influence of others to cause you to lose hope and confidence in the great future of this great continent.I believe in Africa,I see a new generation of leaders rising and taking up the challenges of selfless service to the continent,a generation so passionate about putting in their best to build a virile,progressive,developed and buoyant continent.The possibility of moving Africa forward in dependent on you.
If there were a time to dare,to make a difference,to embark on something worth doing,it is now.Not even necessarily for any grand cause,but for something that tugs at your heart,something that you have dreamt about.
You owe it yourself to make your days here on earth count.Have fun,dig deep,stretch,dream big,know though,that things worth doing seldom come easy.There will be good days,there will be good times when you want to turn around,pack it up and cal it quits.Those times tell you that you are pushing yourself,that you are not afraid to learn by trying.
Persit,because with an idea,determination and the right tools,you can do great things.Let your instincts,intellect and your heart guide you.Learn to trust.The start of something new brings the hope of something great.Anything is possible.There is only one you,and you will pass this way only once.Do it right.
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